It struck me tonight that I am, indeed, learning how to teach. I'm told that I will never stop learning (as I am teaching), and that teaching is, in fact, the best way to learn. One of my classes is actually called "Teaching for Learning". It's all very confusing, but I suppose the point is to remind us that we are never solely teachers. We are also learners, and will always be. Perhaps that's the most important thing for us to teach our students: how to be open to learning.
Two weeks into this program, and I've already questioned what I'm doing here. It's amazing what change will do to a person's confidence. At the risk of sounding stupid, or pathetic....this program is hard work! I am pretty sure I could get by alright without fully engaging myself, but that's certainly not how I do things. The program is forcing me to challenge all the things about my teaching that I always red flagged as "something to work on": preparedness, pre-thinking, planning and re-planning. Last week, as I was in class listening to m professor talk about developing a lesson plan, I thought, "This is so much work....am I really cut out for something that requires this much dedication and preparedness?"
Well, I've had a few days to really let that sink in, and I think the answer is, simply, "YES!" I have been motivated to teach this way by the students I have worked with in the past. As they drift a little further into my past, I think I'm letting myself the important lessons they taught me. Going into this profession is about me, because it's my career, and it's my passion....but it's also about the students who aren't getting the attention they deserve. It's also about the students who are given the impression that they can't do something because they don't know English well enough, or because their parents don't sit with them at the table at night doing homework. It's about the students who have it in them to do great things, but are afraid to because they might be laughed at. It's about them! That's where the passion really is, for me: helping those students see their talents and abilities for what they really are (glorious!), and then watching what they do with that.
So, here I am, on a Sunday night, working on lesson plans and getting distracted by my own, rediscovered......naive ideologies. But you know what? I like these ideologies, because they give me hope that I can change a dangerous path for someone. They empower me to be a quality teacher who is prepared and ready for the tough challenges. I'd rather be empowered, ready, and perhaps naive than disenfranchised, bored, and cynical.
I suppose I should continue getting my work done.....toodles!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
I've been in my graduate program for almost two weeks now, and feel that it would be a good idea to chronicle the experience in some way. A lot of people have been asking me about what the program is like, how I feel about it, and all of those usual questions. I thought, "Maybe I should just write all of this down!" That way, I'll have a record of the changes I am going through, the feelings I am having, and all of the other life-changing events that might happen to me. Reflection is a powerful tool, and I don't use it enough. Right now, I am entering a new chapter of my life. A lot of things are changing, and I'm learning a lot about how to take more control over my emotions and my reactions to things. It's been a long time since I've had a journal or diary to look back on, but every time I have had one, it's been helpful, so I thought I would give it another whirl.
And hell, why not make it public? :)
And hell, why not make it public? :)